Yoshi's Secret
by Ben Kitsune
Summary: A short drabble I wrote for friends as a laugh several years ago. Yoshi returns from a vacation to meet with the Mario Bros. A riot breaks out soon after. Please Read & Review!


Author's Note and Disclaimer:

Hey, everyone! How's the readin'? It's been a while since I've actually submitted something to ! I mean, seriously, how long has it been again? Six months? Seven? *looks at calendar* Oh, that's right, three years…anyhow, I—

Wait, what? *does a double take* _THREE YEARS?! _Holy Guacamole!! That **IS** a long time! I actually feel rather ashamed now.

In any case, I wanted to submit this because I found this silly little story I wrote for friends several years ago. I found it gave a good chuckle, and I wanted to share it with everyone else. Please forgive the substandard quality as this WAS written back when I was a sophomore in high school, which was approximately seven years ago. I _did_ consider rewriting this, bringing this up to a level more acceptable to my current standards; however I felt that its narmy charm was best left in the format in that it was written, in all its terrible glory. Ergo, the story on the next page will remain completely as it was conceived, nearly word-for-word.

There have only been a few minor changes from the original document, and that's to change over a few choice words in dialogue to retain a T rating and corrections of a minor grammatical errors. Otherwise, the entire story, format and all, remains completely unchanged.

Please understand that this is NOT professional, quality work, and was not written as such. This was written up as a short drabble for friends for a laugh…a laugh I wanted everyone else to enjoy.

I apologize to the fanfiction community at large, especially to the Mario subsection (my greatest section I've contributed to), primarily for not submitting anything for the large amount of time I've been active. As of right now, however, outside of a couple of projects I am currently working on, _Demonic Yoshi_ is on permanent hiatus. This is not anything to tide anybody over until the next installment, but…y'never know, if inspiration strikes me and I get something going, I might start contributing more. Only time will tell.

I do not own Mario, or any characters therein. All intellectual property therein is copyright and belongs to Nintendo. In short, me no own, you no sue, tu comprende?

Get it? Got it? No? Good.

Enjoy the fic.

_**Yoshi's Secret**_

_(Opening Scene- Mario and Luigi are in the castle courtyard, next to the fountain. Yoshi enters and walks up to the twin plumbers.)_

Yoshi: Mario! Luigi!

Mario: _(excited)_ Yoshi! It's so good to see you!

Luigi: _(likewise) _How have things been going for you, good friend?

Yoshi: Ah, they've been going all right.

Mario: That's good to hear. What have you been up to lately, hmm?

Yoshi: Not much. Ah, traveling places, seeing people, but overall, not much.

Mario: Doesn't sound like "not much" to me. I mean, traveling to places?

Luigi: Seeing some people? Sounds like you've been busy, Yoshi.

Yoshi: _(Thinking)_ You don't know the half of it.

Luigi: Who did you see, anyway? Meet some famous people on the road?

Yoshi: No…

Luigi: Some old buddies of yours? _(Winking, elbowing Yoshi) _Possibly a few girls, eh?

_(Yoshi tenses up a bit, obviously Luigi has hit the nail on the head. The Mario's don't notice this, however.)_

Yoshi: Uhm….No…what makes you say that? Look, all I had was a vacation. Not a particularly exciting vacation, but a vacation nonetheless.

Mario: Whatever you say, Yoshi.

_(Suddenly, a small yellow Yoshi child runs to larger, green one.)_

Little Yoshi: Daddy! Daddy!

Mario/Luigi: Huh? Daddy?

Yoshi: _(surprised)_ Huh? What the….!?

Little Yoshi: _(excited, runs off) _Mommy, mommy, come quick! I found Daddy!

Mario: _(accusingly) _Daddy, eh? "Didn't do much," eh?

Yoshi: Hey, I don't know where that little kid came from! It must be a case of mistaken identity!

_(An adult yellow Yoshi walk back in with her child.)_

Yellow Yoshi: A-HA! _There_ you are, you heartless bastard!

Yoshi: What?

Luigi: What's going on?

Yellow Yoshi: This lying, cheating, two-timing son of a bitch took advantage of me, made me feel like a whore, and left me to provide for our son! _(motions over to the little yellow Yoshi) _How _dare_ you leave us behind!

Mario: _(getting mad) _Yoshi….

Yoshi: Uhm, ah, I can explain!

Voice: You had better!

Voice #2: Yeah, I'd like to know, too!

Voice #3: How _dare_ you!?

_(Suddenly, about ten more Yoshis, a multitude of colors come in, all swarming around green "hero". Followed by the adults are several little children Yoshies all clamoring around.)_

Adult Red Yoshi: You bastard!

Adult Blue Yoshi: Senseless jerk!

Little Green Yoshi: Daddy, why did you leave?

Adult Light Blue Yoshi: Damn son of a bitch!

Little Pink Yoshi: Daddy, did you get me anything?

Little Red Yoshi: Daddy!

_(Chaos ensues. Mario tries to break up the fight while Luigi stands there still trying to figure out how Yoshi caused all of this. After a few moments, though, quite a number of Mushroom people are attracted to the clamor, wondering what's going on. A few Mushroom women, however, recognize our green Yoshi friend, and quickly join the fight.)_

Mushroom Woman #1: You jerk! I can't believe you left me! I thought you loved me!

Mushroom Woman #2: I thought you loved _me_! How could you…how could you?!

_(More pandemonium erupts, as some of the other Mushroomias attempt to assist Mario to break up the scene—some of the males, in an attempt to console their hysterical girlfriends also push through to deal with Yoshi. Before the situation can escalate any further, however, a female Birdo steps into the light.)_

Birdo: _There _you are!!

Yoshi: Catherine?

Birdo: Don't Catherine me, you bastard! I've heard everything!

Yoshi: Catherine, I can explain!

Adult Red Yoshi: Yeah, why don't you, so we can all hear it!

Mushroom Woman #3: Yeah!

Adult Pink Yoshi: Yeah!

Little Blue Yoshi: Yeah!

Luigi: Yeah!

_(Everything finally begins to calm down, and as Yoshi prepares to tell his tale, yet _another_ woman makes herself known.)_

Wendy O. Koopa: Huh? What's going on here?

Adult Red Yoshi: EEK! It's Kootie Pie!

Little Pink Yoshi:Aiiieee! Mommy, who's that!?

_(Screaming. Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi manage to calm everyone down. Then, the Mario Brothers confront Wendy.)_

Mario: What are _you_ doing here, Wendy?

Wendy: I ought to be asking you all the same! Yoshi, darling, what's the deal here!?

Luigi: _(baffled) _Yoshi, _darling!?_

Mario: _(shocked) _Mama mia!

Random person from the crowd: Darling!?

Another random joe: WHAT!?

_(More clamoring. Yelling, lots of noise. Mario and Luigi cannot seem to control it, when suddenly…)_

Voice: _(screaming) STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!_

_(Everybody turns to look in the direction of the voice. It is none other than Princess Peach Toadstool herself.)_

Mario: Mama mia! Peach!

Peach: Just _what_ is going on out here?! I can't concentrate with all this noise!!

Luigi: Well, I'm not sure, but Yoshi came up and we all started talking, and this little one came up and—

Peach: _(cutting him off)_ Yoshi? Yoshi's here?

_(Yoshi nervously grins, and waves over. Peach rushes up to him to give him a large hug.)_

Peach: Oh, Yoshi! You're back! What happened, baby? I missed you!

Mario: _What?!_

Wendy: _Huh?!_

Catherine: _Holy--?!_

_(The entire crowd gasps in unison, among other sounds of shock and confusion.)_

Mario: …Peach, what do you mean? I thought…what's going on?!

Peach: Oh, silly Mario. How could you be so blind?

Mario: Blind to _what_?

Peach: Mario, Mario, Mario…I've been seeing someone else.

Mario: _(eyes grow wide) _MAMA MIA!! You mean to tell me--?! You!? And HIM!?

_(General gasps and shocks. Even Luigi is stunned.)_

Peach: Yes!

Mario: _(alarmed) _But…but…Peach….why?! How could--?

Peach: _(sympathetically) _Dear, dear Mario. You poor man. You just, couldn't rate up.

Mario: _(angry) _Couldn't rate up?! Peach, but our love was passionate—

Peach: _(cold) _Passionate my ass! You may be Super Mario, but in bed, honey, you're just feeble, inadequate, and just plain unsatisfactory!

Mario: But Yoshi's a…Yoshi's a…_(confused)_ Say, what _is_ Yoshi, anyway? _(shaking his head) _ Anyway, Yoshi is… …He's _Yoshi!_ That's just…._(disgusted)_

Luigi: … … … … _(stunned speechless)_

Wendy: Why…you…you…you blond bimbo!

Catherine: You skank!

Peach: What?

Wendy: _(turns to Yoshi) _And _you_, you two-timing bastard! _I'll kill you!!_

Mario: _(enraged, murderous) Let me at him!!_

(The fight that went on before now resmues as a full-blown, knock-down drag-out riot. Luigi, the only one remaining with any real sense of sanity remaining, wisely decides to beat feet while he still possibly can. While the plumber clad in green flees for his life, fists, feet, and fur begins to fly like never before.)

**The End**


End file.
